I stumbled upon the letter below in a blog one night and it weighed on my heart. I loved what this mother was saying to her son and I wanted to say the same to Mac and Copeland. I’m including the letter in my blog because I intend to give a copy to both when they get a little older.
Dear Son,
Dating is a tricky thing and doing it right is difficult. But it is honestly, the most important thing you will ever do. Because how you date will dictate who you date. And who you date will become your wife. And who your wife is will determine your future family and so forth and so on. So date wisely.
Here are a few expectations I have for you when it comes to dating:
1. Always ask a girl on a date. Straight forward & direct. AND always ask in person. If that just isn’t possible then ask over the phone. Never, I mean never, ask a girl on a date through a text, instant message, or email.
2. Always take a girl out on a date. None of this “let’s hang out at my place & watch a movie” nonsense. I expect you to pick her up & take her somewhere. It doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate or immensely creative. Sometimes the best dates are simple, like a picnic in the park. You should always make sure you take her to a place you know she will feel comfortable & enjoy.
3. Open the car door for your date. Open all doors for your date.
4. Pay for your date. No questions asked. Your father & I will make sure you always have money for your dates. Do not ever split the bill.
5. Walk to the door to pick up your date. Never text from the car, or worse yet, HONK! And always walk your date to the door at the end of the night.
6. Use your good senses when it comes to kissing. Don’t kiss every girl, but don’t be afraid to kiss the right girl.
7. Listen to your date. The best dates involve getting to know the other person so take your date somewhere that will allow you to talk. Ask her questions & share insight about yourself. The purpose of dating is to find someone you could spend your future with. So the longer you date a person, the more you should get to know her.
8. Always make your intentions clear. If you aren’t clicking with a girl then end it. Don’t string her along. It may hurt her for a minute but she will appreciate your honesty. And if you are feeling a connection then let her know. A girl loves clarity. It will make the whole dating process easier if you follow this one simple rule.
9. Date around, but only seriously date one girl at a time. Once you’ve found a girl you are interested in and going exclusive with, be faithful to her. Always, always be faithful. If you decide things aren’t working out or you meet someone else you’d like to get to know, refer back to rule #8.
10. Be physical. The right way! Hold hands, put your arm around her shoulders or eventually her waist, kiss her head, put your hand on her knee, these sweet gestures speak volumes & make a woman feel cared for. Going too far physically only confuses the relationship & it can never be undone.
11. Handle her heart with care. Women are strong, but they are also delicate. Don’t ruin that. Do not be responsible for hardening a woman’s heart.
12. Get to know her family & friends and let your family & friends get to know her. Especially Me.
13. When the time comes, tell her you love her, a lot. In fact, tell her all sorts of nice things. Everyone deserves to be complimented.
14. Serve her. Not like a waiter. Perform acts of service for her; make her breakfast, take out her trash, offer her your jacket when she’s cold, you get the point.
15. Surprise her. Again, a little can go a long way. Just stick with small surprises. Bring her a case of her favorite soda, pick her flowers, or show up at her work for a surprise lunch date.
16. Never underestimate the power of the written word. As nice as it is to hear good things, it’s even better to have them written down so you can reference back to them. You should write letters or notes to your love often.
17. When the time is right & you’ve found that special someone, get down on one knee & ask her those 4 special words.
I love you now, forever and always. And know that someday, I’ll love her too.
Love, Mom
http://thewatkinsteam.blogspot.com
My boys may not be old enough to understand this letter but Mac is old enough to start learning how you treat a lady. How can Albi and I expect our boys to grow up to be wonderful fathers and husbands if we don’t teach them how to do it. As parents I think we often overlook this concept. We spend time teaching our sons how to read, how to ride a bike and even how to defend themselves in a fight but how often do we teach them how to be good husbands? Albi is and will continue to be a wonderful example for the boys to follow, but I want to have a part in them being good husbands and fathers too. I figured the best way to start would be for me to go on dates with them. I started with Mac. I don’t do a ton with Mac by myself. That isn’t to say we don’t spend a lot of time together as a family, but we don’t necessarily go lots of places just the two of us. Generally if Albi and I are each going to take a child, I get Coe and he gets Mac. This is due in large part to Coe still being pretty attached to me {although he is getting more and more independent each day and I’m not really sure how I feel about that either!}.
A few weeks ago I told Mac that he and I were going to go on a date to the REAP garden about a week later. A few days before we were supposed to go, Mac asked me when we were going on our date. I was surprised he remembered as I had only mentioned it that one time. I told him we were going on Saturday morning, and I could tell he was excited. When the time came Mac and I got all our yard/garden tools and headed to the garden. We had a great time planting some flowers, talking to the other volunteers, and learning a lot about bee keeping. We ran a few errands afterwards and then picked up lunch to take back home to daddy and Coe. We didn’t talk a lot about “dating” or what it means to be a good husband, but I did take the opportunity to tell Mac that when he is on a date he should always hold the door for a lady and hold her hand when he has the opportunity. He laughed at me and said he couldn’t “date” his mommy but then quickly ran ahead to grab the door every chance he had, and for the first time in a long time he grabbed my hand when we were walking to the car.
I have a feeling these mommy/son dates will be important for reasons beyond just learning how to date. They will evolve and grow as the boys get older and if for nothing more than selfish reasons I plan to continue having them as long as one of them will willingly go. You reap what you sow!
